I watched part of Lois Evans funeral tonight and was blown away by many things but the one that I’m prayerfully making my focus right now is Acts 13:36:
““For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep...”
I’ve read the book of Acts before and passed right over this verse but it fell on me fresh tonight as I thought that this is what the goal of my heart is. To be someone who served the purpose of God in my generation until He calls me home.
I know full well that to live his purpose doesn’t guarantee a life of ease and a smooth path. In fact, my every day life experience thus far proves that His plans for me involve something very difficult and fraught with pitfalls. However, He has brought me safe through every storm so far and with every wave that has knocked the breath from my body He has breathed new life into my soul. I may lose that new breath rather quickly as I take my eyes off of Him amidst the storm but he is faithful and continues to breathe when I cannot.
I wish this was one of those posts where I could say I already did the thing and this is how others can find victory too. It’s not. It’s a I fall flat on my face most days, dragged down by chronic depression that is choosing to be med resistant currently, an eating disorder that makes me question every day am I going to have to fight to eat today or fight to stop eating today, never ending questions like why have I chosen to give up everything in my life and change it all, bone deep grief over the loss of relationships, perceived identity, and purpose, and struggling to put one foot in front of the other. BUT GOD!
He is the anchor to my windswept soul, the bread of life to my hungry heart, my portion when food is never enough, the light to my dark and winding path, the wonderful counselor who holds me in my mourning, my truth and my identity, my beginning and my end, and the one who lifts my soul from the pit and gives me hinds feet so that I may scale the rocky cliffs.
Lord, may I serve you no matter the path you set me on and may I be reminded that you will use this (yes, even this) for your glory and my good. Give me strength and patience in the waiting and wisdom to apply the armor. Remind my enemy is not of this world and keep my eyes fixed on you “...the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2
Eternal Savior, Your Word asks us to present our body as a living sacrifice, but those with binge eating disorders may at times struggle. But Father, as they struggle to treat their body with love and care, I pray that every scheme of the enemy against them will be dispelled in Jesus Name. I ask right now that You help them to present their body as a sacrifice, holy and acceptable to You because this is an act of worship, Amen.
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